I still remember when I was an awkward 16-year old trying to navigate high-school, define my sense of style and just figure out how I fit into the world. Fast forward 6 years, I’ve completed my bachelor’s degree, am 22 years young and I’m still trying to navigate how I fit into the world. Thankfully, I’ve developed my own sense of style and no longer require magazine articles to dress me (although you did provide outstanding advice Seventeen Magazine!).
Now you’re probably wondering what is the purpose of this article- so what I’m saying is, as you age you also become increasingly aware of yourself as an individual. Throughout that growth, there are many life lessons thrown at you. The good, the bad, the ugly and the heartbreaking. As you grow older (and wiser), each of those lessons are necessary for you as a human being. They are a valuable reflection to who you were and who you are becoming.
As a twenty-something woman living in this day and era I’ve had my share of self-doubt, failure and heartbreak. However, within those moments there have been some pretty amazing life lessons. These lessons have taught me so much about valuing my dreams, adulting and who I am. I’ve taken the time to write and share with you some of those lessons in hopes that you can relate or when the time comes, you remember my words during your own triumphs and failures.
10 life lessons I’ve learned as a twenty-something woman:
1.) I don’t have to say “Yes” to everything. There’s so many activities to do, people to meet and experiences to… well, experience! Your 20’s are filled with multiple invitations, volunteer opportunities, that happy hour get-together with your coworkers and the list goes on. With so much to do and so many opportunities to take advantage of, it can get overwhelming. I used to say “yes” to so many events and responsibilities that I wasn’t really taking the time to figure out if I truly enjoyed them and I wasn’t fully giving my all to anything I did. My attention was constantly on the next event I had to go to and the next task to check off my to-do list. It was physically and emotionally draining. To say the least, burn-out is not your best friend it’s a harsh reality check. From this experience, I learned it’s okay to turn down invitations and responsibilities, especially if it’s costing you your emotional and physical health. It helped me to figure out what is most important to me, what I excel in and to really invest my full talents into something I’m passionate about.
2.) Regularly go to the gym. Seriously. Those weights aren’t going to lift themselves. I get it, it can be a pain to get up and go to the gym when you’d rather be at your favorite coffeeshop reading Rupi Kaur’s latest book. But trust me, IT IS WORTH IT. You have probably heard this countless times before, but working out is so beneficial for your wellbeing. I am in no way an expert or a physical trainer, but from personal experience, I’ve learned that regular exercise helps me to destress and I feel better after. Especially if I’ve had a bad day. If it seems intimidating, start out small and gradually build your way up until it becomes a natural habit for you. Everyone starts somewhere.
3.) You will lose friends but also gain other incredible relationships along the way. And that’s okay, people change. Oftentimes a result of changing careers, geographic locations, different values and even time. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want the best for you, and vice versa. However, my other remaining friendships have left me to care for and value each individual connection because each is special in their own way
4.) Always trust and believe in yourself. This is a hard process, one that I admit I am still learning. However, I do know that when you trust your gut feeling and validate what’s in your heart amazing things will happen.
5.) Start an emergency savings then stick to it. I used to always combine both of these and I wish I had known this sooner, but this is so very helpful for the present and in the long-run. Especially if you need to take your car to the auto shop for a checkup or find yourself in the emergency room (which I hope isn’t the reason why!). What has helped me is to start out small, it doesn’t need to be a huge amount to put in; at least $15-$30 every paycheck/month and by the end of the year you’ll have a couple hundreds saved already. You’ll thank yourself later when the time calls for it!
6.) Failure is okay and absolutely necessary. Everyone eventually fails at some point in their life. You will have the bad days, the hard days and the days where everything seems to be going wrong. However, failure also teaches you resiliency, to try again and not give up. It is up to how you handle it. You learn that no matter how hard you fall, you are strong enough to get back on your feet.
7.) Prioritize your life. What truly matters to you? It’s easy to forget about it when you are caught up in a daily routine. Once I graduated college and began working full-time, it was hard for me not to just go home and dismiss all the hobbies I loved before. I learned to remind myself about what is important and make time for it. Trust me, it’s worth it and you’ll be happier.
8.) Your heartbreak is valid. When I experienced my first heartbreak, I remember thinking that I shouldn’t be on the couch moping and rewatching my favorite rom-coms, as a young woman I should be out doing stuff and meeting people! However, after I came home I still felt down and sad which left me confused. Why was I still feeling sad about this relationship when I just spent time with friends? Don’t get me wrong, your friends can be amazing after the end of a relationship, however, if you don’t spend the time to understand your emotions then they’ll never go away. I’ve learned that sometimes, especially when it comes to heartbreak, it’s okay to tune out reality and be one with your emotions. Validate what you’re feeling, you just ended a relationship with someone who meant the world to you. Treat yourself to the whole damn bucket of ice cream and listen to a replay of Taylor Swift’s songs.
9.) Don’t settle. In a job, in a relationship in anything where you’re not truly yourself and completely happy. You deserve nothing less.
10.) Be exactly who and what you are. Own it because you are a goddamn queen.
Style. Sass. Spirit.
Keetha
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