Hi Keetha,
Spring semester is ending in one week and I’m completely nervous and freaked out about it because I’m officially graduating! I mean, I am super excited and cannot wait to enter the “adult world”. However, I can’t help but feel like I’m lacking. All my friends have gotten jobs confirmed before commencement, secured an internship or have plans to move across the country. Although I’m happy for them, I can’t help but feel insecure. I hope they don’t misinterpret that as jealousy or unhappiness for them.
I’ve gone to multiple interviews but they all led to nowhere. I’m starting to get anxious when relatives or friends ask me how the job search is going and what my plans are; I have no idea! I feel like I’m not good enough. It’s really starting to freak me out about securing a job and what life is like after college. I feel as though my entire degree and four years in college did not prepare me for this. I’ve always been on top of everything and have a solution to all situations but for the first time I feel truly stuck.
How do I feel happy and supportive of my friends? And how can I answer questions family and friends ask about my future without snapping? I know they only mean well. I’m trying to stay positive but it is so hard not to.
-S
ADVICE
Hi S,
First of all, let me tell you that what you are feeling is completely okay and common. I felt the exact same way. It’s a normal reaction to such a big life change; you are completing college and just beginning to move on to your next big adventure, even if you don’t know what that adventure will be. It’s okay to feel unsure and freaked out.
Also, you are not lacking because you haven’t landed your first big job after graduation. You are capable and qualified. A common mistake we make when not landing a job is to put blame on ourselves. However, there are so many factors contributing to the very reason why you didn’t land the job or get an interview. You have the rest of your life to land a job, do not stress or worry too much. Appreciate the time you have before and after graduation. As cliche as this sounds, it’ll happen when the time is right and when you find the right fit.
After I graduated college, I did not land a job for three months. I went to countless interviews and none of them worked out. After every rejection, it was so hard not to believe it was a reflection on myself and I kept rethinking how I should have answered the interview questions differently. I learned you can’t change the circumstances but you can manage how you feel in those situations. I believe as a student or a college graduate, there’s so much pressure to “do it right.” When really, there is no right or wrong way. Focus on what makes you happy and don’t let it define you. You are so much more than a job.
And we’ve all been there, feeling insecure when friends and classmates receive news about jobs and internships they’ve landed. It’s okay, you’re only human. It is frustrating when you truly are happy for your friends but it’s hard to express that happiness due to the situation. If you feel comfortable, I suggest communicating to friends how you feel. It’ll help to alleviate feelings of insecurity but also help friends understand your circumstance and that you do wish them well.
I can also agree to that, although friends and family mean well, it’s added pressure and stress when questions about your next steps after graduation are thrown at you. A helpful tip to address situations like this is to say, “Thank you for asking, I appreciate it. Right now I’m taking it one step at a time but will update you when something happens.” This shows your appreciation but also ensures you are in control of the situation and future conversations about this topic.
Finally, you are good enough! Never doubt that. This is a part of growing up, you won’t always have the answer to everything. However, you will learn so much about yourself and grow so much stronger. You will experience the ups and downs but it is up to how you let the situation affect you. Most importantly, don’t be so hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself and things will get better from here.
Thank you for reading. I hope this was helpful whether you are experiencing the same or a similar circumstance as this. No one is perfect. Remember you are worthy and deserving. Be kind to yourself and don’t push yourself down. Be proud because you are graduating college, that is a huge accomplishment! Celebrate it.
Style. Sass. Spirit.
Keetha, Lately
P.S. Congratulations 2018 graduates!!!
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