Cue to that first date when you sit down at a restaurant to order a cheeseburger and fries. Then your date, who was cute and charming before suddenly says, “Wow, ordering a burger and fries?? I like you, you’re not like other girls.”
Or, overhearing a girl say, “I don’t understand why other girls wear so much makeup. I like to look natural and embrace my skin, plus, I don’t have time. I’m not looking to impress anyone, I’m not like other girls.”
And when someone says something similar to, “So you enjoy fashion and like science fiction? Wow, those two things are so opposite. You’re really different, not like other girls.”
My reaction when someone says, "You're not like other girls." ^^^
I just, I can’t deal, the number of times these scenarios have occurred to me or I’ve overheard it, my brain cells deteriorate and I Iose my mind. Sure, maybe the phrase “not like other girls” can be unintentionally harmless but there are so many things wrong with it. By using the phrase “you’re not like other girls” it sounds like a compliment gone wrong. Why do people need to react or give praise when a woman does a deed that is actually a normal human thing to do. As if women didn’t have the capability to do so before. Like ordering a god damn cheeseburger… I don’t need you to congratulate me. Let me order my meal in peace.
It also doesn’t help that in the dating world, men use “Not like other girls” as a conversation starter. Like it makes them nice for telling you this unnecessary “compliment.” Doing so only influences women to react and feel conditioned to want to express that they’re also “not like other girls.” This phrase is not a compliment, it is misogynist and sexist. Additionally, it creates a stigma that ultimately pins women against one another. All I’m saying is it is 2020, it’s time this phrase dies.
Comments like this do not shatter the glass ceiling, it perpetuates the cycle of stereotypes, patriarchy and misogyny women have been experiencing already.
When a woman uses “Not like other girls” to express her style or personal preferences. Such as, “I don’t like to wear too much makeup like other girls” or “I’m not like other girls, I prefer sports and video-games,” it creates a false illusion that somehow, it makes them better.
Comments like this do not shatter the glass ceiling, it perpetuates the cycle of stereotypes, patriarchy and misogyny women have been experiencing already. By using “Not like other girls,” we’re defining being a girl or woman as being something less than. Essentially defining femininity as a negative trait. Stating we aren’t like other girls is pushing all other women behind us in order to get to our destination. It doesn’t eliminate sexism or help anyone. However, when a woman uses this statement it’s an insult that disrespects herself and other women. It says so much about her self-esteem and how she views herself.
However, I don’t blame her when there are so many factors in society that shape and influence people to use “Not like other girls.” It’s in the movies we watch, the stories we read and plastered all over pop culture. It’s no surprise when a woman does something dissociated with a “traditional” feminine trait, people are quick to praise and call her “different” When this occurs, it only strengthens the notion that being feminine does not equate independent and further stereotypes masculine traits as powerful and attractive.
Having different interests or hobbies like her male counterparts doesn’t make her better than. It makes her human.
So here’s the tea, saying “Not like other girls” doesn’t make you a charming date or special. It makes you a misogynist, a sexist, ignorant and unkind. Instead of generalizing women through gender roles and equating a woman’s worth to her hobbies and interests, it’s time to realize women are diverse. Women can have different hobbies. They can like makeup or fashion and also love sports. They can choose to be a mother or have the freedom not to be. She can choose to be a stay at home mom or be happily involved in a career she is building for herself. Having different interests or hobbies like her male counterparts doesn’t make her better than. It makes her human.
For my fellow women, the next time someone says to you “Not like other women,” I encourage you to ask “What do you mean by that?” I assure you they will be left confused as they don’t even know why. If not, it opens the dialogue for you to lean in and call them the “F” out.
So yes, if you ask, I am like other women and I am proud of it. Other women are inspiring and unafraid to be themselves in a world that is constantly telling them how to act and behave. Other women are CEO’s, educators, athletes, shattering stereotypes in STEM or talented beauticians and creative designers. They are living their best life and paving the way for future generations of women. Other women are not my competition, they are my community. Other women uplift me and I aspire to empower them.
Thanks for reading!
Style. Sass. Spirit.
Keetha, Lately
Comments